Pillow Talk
by Reigen Doki
Summary: Jim finds that his missions just aren't that interesting to him anymore. He decides to bring this to his First Officer's attention. Completely random drabble. I'm pretty sure this would qualify as Jim/Spock. There's actually no cursing in this...go figure.


**I don't own Star Trek.**

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James Kirk wasn't really surprised, anymore. It was hard to be taken by surprise with all of the things he and his crew had been through. Significant to this moment, however, were the things he'd been through with his Vulcan First Officer, Mr. Spock.

Over the last three years of their mission to explore space, meet interesting people, and try not to get shot by them, they had been through a lot.

They had been married to each other more than two dozen times. Three of which they had to consummate publicly. They had been infected with five different diseases/parasites/spores that made them act wildly unprofessional, including engaging in sexual acts on the bridge. They had been forced to publicly humiliate each other, including but not limited to performing fellatio, spanking, peeing on, and using their tongue to wash the other person. Not usually in that order or all on the same mission. They had been required to engage in full penetrative acts no less than thirty times.

Almost exclusively Spock was required to 'out perform' him.

Jim might have complained, but the first time he was placed in the position of power, he'd done a poor job. Spock reassured him that erectile issues were perfectly acceptable when the crew's lives were at stake. That did nothing to assuage his pride. So he was more than happy to let the guy who could make his body do anything he forced it to take the more active roll in those forays, even pretending he had a choice in the matter.

That was where he currently found himself, laying with his back on a cold stone alter with several projectile weapons leveled on them from afar if they got the idea they no longer wanted to participate.

"I'm bored." Jim whined, letting his head fall back to the stone alter with a clunk.

Spock didn't break his pace, breathing out a small sigh into the crook of Jim's neck. "I do not suspect you should inform our captors of this, captain."

Jim shrugged. "I feel like we need to spice up our sex life."

Spock's hips hesitated only a moment before finding the rhythm again. "Captain?"

"It's just...It's gotten old. I mean, it's a constant thing now. It's like, I get the message that we're beaming down for a new first encounter and I go 'Oh, it's that time of the month already?' I mean, I use a spreader the night before a mission now days so we won't have to waste time making sure I don't end up having trouble walking for a week. It's just...so predictable." Jim rambled, showing impressive concentration. "I feel like we're just phoning it in. Like we're just scheduling this out of habit."

"What would you suggest, Captain?" Spock decided humoring him would end the conversation faster.

"I don't know." Jim chuckled. "We could try a bed for once. Maybe get rid of the crowd and have the lights off."

Spock's hip stuttered again, before he set a new, faster pace. "You are being facetious."

"I wouldn't call this that serious of an issue." Jim sighed, closing his eyes. "Maybe you could call me by my first name? I'm getting a little bored of this whole command play thing. We've never done that before."

"Would you cease this line of conversation if I referred to you by your given name during copulation, captain?" Spock puffed out an annoyed breath, re-angling himself.

Jim nodded, arching his back a bit, though the stone had warmed considerably from their time on it. "That would be great Spock."

"Very well...Jim."

Their encounter didn't last much longer and fortunately their hosts were satisfied by the display. Jim and Spock's reports were nearly identical. It had stopped being in any way awkward the third time, when Starfleet reminded them of the official paperwork for those kind of situations. That wasn't something they taught in the academy, but it was common enough that most Captains could fill them out in their sleep.

Jim looked up from his computer when Spock entered his room. "Were we supposed to play chess tonight?"

"Indeed." Spock moved to begin setting up the board. "Unless you would prefer a spontaneous act of sexual gratification."

Jim snorted out a laugh. "Very funny." Spock placed a box on the table and Jim picked it up in confusion. "What is this?"

It proved to be, when he ripped it open a second later, a very old, hard bound copy of the kama sutra. Jim started to laugh.

"Oh my god. Why did you get me this?"

"I believe it is customary to bring gifts when wishing someone a 'happy anniversary'?" Spock smirked. "Though I believe you would be hard pressed to determine which marriage we are to celebrate."

Jim shook his head. "How do you always manage to surprise me?"

"I do not know Jim."

Jim set the book aside, turning his attention to the chess board in front of him. Maybe he could win this time. More surprising things had happened.

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**So that was incredibly odd. And short. Hopefully good for a quick laugh though. This is as close as you are getting to smut from me.**


End file.
